Lost in Blogland..... and flowers, and soil, and knitting

I know, I know, if I have a blog I am supposed to be writing in it. So first thing today, which for me is usually at the crack of noon, I sat here and wrote a post. I even uploaded some pictures. then I decided to mess with the pictures, moving them around , trying to get them in the right place to go with my words. I wasn't happy with what it looked like, so went to the help site, messed around some more, and then POOF, my post was gone. I had saved it, but sure as hell couldn't find it again. So.... let me try this again.
I have been busy busy, doing this....
And lots more! I am not a gardener, never have been, but I must admit that I do enjoy planting flowers in containers, then scattering them around both the front and back of the house. I make a huge mess when I do this, and Ernie dutifully follows behind me and cleans up the mess. Something like in the house, only in reverse, and I am not so dutiful. I bitch and complain the whole time about what a slob he is..... and to be honest, sometimes I just live with the mess. What the hell is the point? It will be just as bad the next day!
My plan for today was to do something with all this...
I did quite well, though managed to plant only half of what you see. I planted eight window box planters which we put in front of the house on top of what used to be a flower bed. Neither of us are physically capable of grovelling around on our knees planting in the ground, and because the impatiens are in planters, they look so much better that they did in the ground. They cascade over the top of the boxes, and look really beautiful. I also planted four other containers to go under a tree in the back.

The other plan for today was to buy a new one of these...
That was because the cordless phone you see here ended up at the bottom of this...
The geezer insists that while his back was turned, the phone magically jumped into the pool and drowned. So I sent him off on a mission to buy a new phone. He came back with TWO - they were on sale don't you know! They are now charging as I write this.

In the evenings I have been knitting these for chemo patients..



Sometimes I think about what I have been doing lately and am amazed that a tomboyish, athletically inclined, domestically challenged, feminist, career minded, mother of two very independent young adults could find such pleasure from planting flowers and knitting.

Life is amazing!

A Luxurious Lou

We went to our friends’ home for dinner on Sunday. In the 11 or so years they have lived in their house, this couple has worked very hard undertaking some very major renovations, almost all of them by themselves. Their latest project, a complete gutting and renovating of their master bath has taken them many months of backbreaking labour They are understandably very proud of their new room, and so before dinner we all trudged upstairs to see their masterpiece.

The room was truly a spa-like retreat. We admired the beautiful tiles which are heated from below. The corner two-person spa tub ( well, two person for them - Ernie and I would have some trouble squeezing ourselves into it without feeling like a couple of sardines in a can) was gleaming and inviting. The large glassed shower stall had multiple shower heads and the granite countertop was beautiful.

Then we turned to look at La Piece de Resistance, THE THRONE. At first glance it looked like any other modern toilet, but there was a thin hose going into the back, it was plugged in to an electrical outlet, and on the wall there was a control panel that might confound the flight engineer on a jumbo jet. The toilet seat thermostatically controlled to provide a warm seat for a cold butt. Gives a whole new meaning to “Hot bootie”. The seat slides off easily so “you can take it with you.” Not sure where they plan to take it - maybe to the old folks home later on! On to the toilet itself - when you have completed your business, you can push a button and a little arm slides out from the back and sprays your butt. Then with a push of another button warm air blows upwards to dry the now clean bottom. The way I figure it, if they live to be 100, this techie toilet will pay for itself with savings in toilet paper.

The only thing left to do in this room is to install the sink. I have visions of a sink that turns the taps on by itself as soon as the toilet is flushed, and a booming voice descending from the ceiling commanding, “Make sure you wash your hands!”.

And so, some final thoughts......

tiles for floor, tub and shower - ? dollars
spa tub - ? dollars
glass shower - ? dollars
infloor heating - ? dollars
granite countertop - ? dollars
heated toilet seat - ? dollars
techie toilet - ? dollars

Having warm feet and a warm, squeaky clean and blow dried bottom - PRICELESS

Flipping the Bird

Ernie and I have been known to "flip the bird" at each other, but always in jest. I know that some people regard extending the middle finger as an obscene gesture, but we tend to do it when we are clowning around. What follows is a totally inaccurate account of the origins of this gesture. It has no historical validity whatsoever. I am sharing this story, only because I found it amusing.

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers.

Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!" Over the years some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this symbolic gesture.

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say (like "pleasant mother pheasant plucker," which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodental fricative 'F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute are mistakenly thought to have something to do with an intimate encounter.

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird". And yew all thought yew knew everything!