Old Men in Hats

I have casually mentioned to a few friends who like the stories I tell that perhaps I should start a blog to talk about my life with my dear husband of almost 38 years, Ernie. And so, my friend Suzan got up this morning and designed and formatted a blog page for me. I have no clue what I’m doing, but here is the story of how I came to name my blog “The Geezer and the Vintage Bitch”.

Ernie is not a patient man. His A type personality would often manifest itself when he was driving behind someone who was going under the speed limit, or not driving at a consistent speed. He finally declared to me one day, that the worst drivers on the road were old men who were wearing hats. “Those geezers should get off the road!” he would often exclaim. This was such a frequent situation over the years that even our children, at a young age, would pipe up from the back seat, “ That guy in front of you must be an old man in a hat!”

About a year ago, Ernie and I were driving home on a busy road during what passes for rush hour in our small town. Ernie was toodling along when I noticed that there was a long line of traffic behind us. I pointed that out to him and suggested that perhaps he should speed up. “Tough,” he responded, “I’m going the speed limit.”

“The speed limit is 80 Km/hour” I said, “and you are only going 60. He grunted something unintelligible, and I looked over at him, and there he was, driving, with baseball cap on his head. “Oh my God,” I screeched. “you have turned into an old man in a hat!!! I am married to a geezer!”

And Ernie whispered with an embarrassed smile on his face, “Bitch!”

And I thought, Bitch? I am over 60, I deserve more respect than that. Puleeeze! I am a vintage bitch!!